|
|
Well, sorry for not updating my blog for one entire week. Somehow i just didn't have the MOOD to write. Ha. Reminds me of what one of my tutor said. She once said that it's really difficult to ensure students perform nowadays - they have to be "in the mood". Any distraction can seriously break a student academically and therefore mentally.Friday, June 29, 2007 Alright, done with the stupid talk about mood, today i did one of my occasional visits to Friendster. Well, from the start, i am not an avid fan of frienster, unlike those crazy superficial girls featured on the Sunday Times who add friends as easily as they change boyfriends (well, this i assume from their slutty looks.), since i find it a total chore to add friends, write my own profile as if i was selling myself and even write testimonials for them. Some testimonials are even a demand from some of my friends so that it would seem that they are one-testimonial cooler. But some are from the heart of course (even if they're forced upon me. ha... i'm that biased). In addition, there's this sense of coolness people attach with having many friends on frienster. Well, i admit i have an extremely small number of friends on friendster - one's even an online friend whom i've never met before. But so what? I'm proud of that still. People can laugh at me for having few friends (which i honestly agree.) and regard me as uncool but at least i know deep down in my heart that those i added as friends were at any moment of my life (so far) truly of certain signficance. Anyway, i saw some birthday greetings from some of my friends and guess what? 3 out of four are my primary schoolmates! Based on my memory, which i suppose is still pretty good considering i'm a person who get extremely nostalgic extremely frequently, my primary school days were happy. Well, in addition to the fact that my primary school friends were more innocent when they're young (and thus less critical), i think they are genuinely nice people. Or so i guess. ha. I was really happy that these long lost friends of mine took the effort to actually send me a greeting. I know they probably did so after friendster reminded them they actually still have a boring hopeless romantic friend (too much romantic comedies acting up again - i just watched 3, yes 3 romantic comedies today) whose birthday is nearing. But in any way, they had the thought to do so and that's good enough for me. I get really emotional (in my mind and heart) really easily as well. I guess i'm very easily-contented that i get touched by the very simple things that people do for me. I've always told myself to be appreciative towards the good deeds/sweet things people did for me. Generally, i'm not a very vocal person so i don't express it out through sound (but occasionally through messages) but honestly, i'm truly touched by what they did. For instance, for one of my birthdays, one of my bestest friends buys me something not so great, or by normal standards, cheap, i will sound really touched to my friend (while sighing behind his/her back haha). IT's the thoughts that counts. I know the line's cheesy but it really applies to me. Except when i'm in a bad mood or the person is a true blue bastard or bitch or any other unique circumstance in which my angelic part of my soul is detached from me. Well, those greetings from my primary school mates certainly triggered off my memory button and set me off for another nostalgic flashback to the "olden" days. Certainly, i was more popular back then when differences (whatever it is - race, behaviour, size) didn't matter that much. I remember playing hopskotch during recess and laughing everytime someone is punished for losing. There's also five stones for the less active. It's quite amazing that some simple game involving five "stones" can actually be sufficiently interesting for us when hardcore fighting/shooting game with excellent graphics and sound effects can hardly satisfy the young generation now. Of course, not forgetting all the stupid talks we had in class about hair dye (one involving dyeing a head of rainbow hair, imagine how ridiculous it is), crushes and superstars. Days really past fast and i suppose i'm still the only one holding on to my sweet past tightly as ever. Today as we continue to grow and meet new people and make more experiences, we should never forget those who were there for us in the beginning and from the very beginning. I guess i can only say i'm hopeless nostalgic too. How was your primary school days? Think back and relive those misplaced memories. Have a good time. :) Joel Jloe || 11:35 PM || 0 comments
I apologise for the very cheesy title for this entry but i'm totally sweetened by the movie "music and lyrics". Yes, the movie by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, both of which are considered my favourites for romantic comedies haha. I'm totally into the song right now. Before i saw the movie, i've heard of the song since it is so widely played on Singapore radio stations as we singaporeans are suckers for ballads. But i wasn't that excited over the song i guess. Maybe because i know the story, i'm totally loving the song haha. The movie i have to say is quite interesting. All the cheesy moments, especially seeing Hugh Grant acting like a 80s pop singer - dancing and grooving so stupidly, really made me lighten up and put a smile on my face. So go catch it if you haven't alright...Sunday, June 17, 2007 Well, right now i'm living a simple but boring life in camp since i've just gotten out of course. All my fellow bunk mates, especially Chinaman, are jealous of me. I get to be in the air-conditioned office while they are sweating under the cruel scoring sun haha. Well, i have an injury and they don't. haha. As i've said, it's boring since most of the time you're in the office doing nothing, if not you'l have to do chores for the instructors which most of the time isn't that interesting. Worse of all, i have to face the other OOC trainees. There are two types of people who go out of course by the way. One, you're really injured. Two, You're just plain lazy and you made up a good reason to allow yourself to escape the course. And so "luckily", there are type-2 people here. So i'm pretty sick of them talking about ways to skive even more. Well, i like to skive too, but not as much as them. They REALLY like to skive. It's so irritating that they're calling up friends at the posting centre to help them find a slack vocation. I think their friends must be really annoyed to hear their sickening voice. Oh my, i'm getting quite vulgar right? haha. Sorry about that. On to another topic, today, yes, just now, i had a dinner with my eldest brother's new girlfriend. My mother took the extra effort to cook BETTER and MORE dishes for that special meal after my brother told her about the visit by his new girlfriend. From what i know, my brother has had quite a number of girlfriends already. Well, he''s quite goodlooking so i can't blame him for changing girlfriends so quickly haha joking. The point is i was practically trying to hide my laughter during the course of the meal. My father, like his usual self, sputtered stupid cheesy lines that made people laugh at the stupidity of his joke (not the joke itself) and my mother talked about weird stuff like how the soup was made. I guessed they were trying to find things to talk about with the new girlfriend that once they managed to find a topic, they'll elaborate on it haha. And me, i just kept quiet for most of the time, trying to not make my smile be seen by putting food into my mouth whenever i felt like laughing out loud. haha. To me, since i know my family members, it seems really like an act. Fake. But honestly, could they have done it another way? maybe not. Maybe that's what most families behave when there's a new girlfriend home. haha. There's one thing my brother said to my mother that made her (and me) have goosebumps. My mum said "why should i cook whenever you bring a girlfriend home... so troublesome". and guess what my brother replied. Alert: it's gonna sound disgustingly yucky haha. He said: "aiyah, the most i call them to cook for you next time la." Is he saying that his girlfriend is his wife-to-be? Is he trying to sound fillial? haha... that's quite funny to be haha... Well, funny or not i suppose i'll be seeing this girl for a few more time (before she gets changed - joking!!!). Well, i do hope my brother gets settled down quick if not my parents will keep worrying about him. For now, they'll have to make do with this new girlfriend. For your information, i'm the one who always give trouble to the new GF. I never give face haha... During the meal, i didn't talk to her at all. And when my parents talked to me, i gave that irritated face and mumbled some words in an annoyed tone. Maybe because of that she'll not mess with me haha... The other time, when my second brother brought back his GF, i was in a worse mood. (Today at least i was acting.) That time, i was having a terrible headache and fever and my parents were being very irritating. So i didn't even look at his GF, what more talk to her. I even showed the "tao" face haha. I felt quite bad about doing that though. I made it up by smiling at her the next time i saw her haha. Girlfriends... girlfriends... i wonder when i'll be the one bringing back my GF. Well not in the near future i guess. haha... Who really knows? Jloe || 6:43 PM || 1 comments
After a series of not very good days, i honestly admit that i am running a bit low on faith. Well, being treated like an outcast by the instructors doesn't exactly qualify as a good time. they question me on my injury time and time again, making me feel like they don't trust me. In addition, they cast doubtful looks that make me feel so guilty - as if it's my choice to be in such a situation. I even concluded to myself that good days are an anomaly and not a norm.Sunday, June 10, 2007 After a good day, it is almost certain that the next day will be "not as good" since your happiness bar is raised, in another words, it requires more exciting events to reach that ecstacy state. Thus, you will be disappointed the next day when things don't seem as "happy". And what's worse, when things don't go your way, it continues. That's why you say you had a bad week - like a dominic effect, one bad day leads to another. But there's still hope. When you reach the trough of happiness, things start getting better, but only because things can't get any worse. Then the cycle repeats and we are generally on the path down to depression. No wonder people get more stressed when they grow older. Well, that's the theoretical explanation for my own situation at that point of time. Right now i'm feeling slightly better but doubts are still lingering in my mind that make me feel uneasy everytime they resurface. Maybe next week will be better. In any way, i WILL make myself happier next week. Next thursday. My Birthday! I've already been thinking of what i should wish for this year. A common practice for me is i will stay up until the strike of midnight and make my wishes for that birthday. I don't know if it works but to me it's some kind of spiritual empowerment. haha. Sounds like a voodoo. One sad thing to note is i'll be celebrating my birthday in camp - a place i definitely don't like to be in. But i've already celebrated it with my family yesterday. Well, it's not exactly my own celebration, more of a joint celebration - my mother's birthday falls on the 9th and mine's 14th so it's more economical (i guess) and convenient to celebrate together. It was just a simple dinner with a cake at the end for us to cut. Nothing big. One sweet moment was when all my brothers and my father were so concerned with taking photos and there was this little frenzy that made me smile. Honestly, i don't like to take photographs since i usually don't look good in them. So i was the only one not involved in the photo frenzy. But it's heartening to note they cherish our relationship to take photos of this event and keep it in their handphones. I'm not a big fan of family outings since it's always an excuse for my father to say mushy stuff that gives me goosebumps. Furthermore, i have nothing much to say on the outings since i'm not close to any of my brothers. So the only companion is my thoughts and my handphone. But i think i will try to open up a bit more so that i can enjoy their company. Maybe that should be my wish this year. (only maybe ha). Jloe || 7:26 AM || 0 comments
While if you read the last entry and had high hopes as i did, well bad news for you. The classmate for which i gave her number to my desperate army friend did not reply and probably would never do so. Reason being she is already happily attached. And i was praying for a good ending! what a downer haha. Message to my army friend, try harder and maybe more conventional ways are still better.Wednesday, June 6, 2007 Anyway, i feel really happy or i should say really really relieved. It's the feeling when you feel that the angels above did answer your prayers after all. By the way, two months ago, my friend and i decided we should consult our medical officers concerning the pain we feel everytime we run and march and jump. Actually i had been feeling the pain in my shin area for a long time since my college days but all along i thought it was just a result of my lack of exercise. But when my army friend Dom, told me about the same pain he felt, i reacted like those middle-aged women on Oprah show who would go "YA! SAME HERE!!!" (yes, with that ugly simultaneous-laugh-and-cry expression) when someone tells you he feels the same way about certain thing that most people don't. So after i went to see the medical officer, i was referred to a specialist at Alexandra Hospital since i emphasised my case was "SERIOUS" haha. After a initial checkup and Xray, it seemed like nothing was really wrong. That kinda worried me since it would reflect as if i was trying to slack and not do anything physical (although i really DID want to slack and DIDN"T want to do physical training) by using some lame excuse. Still, i was given excuse from running, marching and jumping for about two weeks while i was referred to NUH for another more detailed bone scan. Well, i didn't mind all the trouble as long as i could unravel the mystery behind my incapable-of-running legs. The bone scan at NUH was pretty interesting to me. First of all, an injection was to be made through my hands and i am not a big fan of needles and especially the pain that comes along with it. I told my friend in college before that i would rather die than suffer pain. I remember crying when i was given the "famous" BCG injection in primary six although i though i cried more for the sake of crying than because it was pain haha. Well, i guessed i became stronger (all the talk about being stronger haha) and could take the injection with minimal reaction - although there's still a slight flinch at the sight of the ever-scary needle poking into my "delicate" skin. I suppose those scary stories of nurses poking the wrong veins came back to me for a second. ha. Secondly, i was actually given nuclear medicine through that injection. Interesing to know that i am actually radioactive for one day until the nuclear substances gets passed out of me. As if i could be a lethal mobile nuclear weapon or some X-man with nuclear-like powers. (well, i have great imaginative powers) ha... After a what-seemed-forever wait (3 hours to be exact) i did a nuclear scan and left, praying hard that the scan would show results that the x-ray couldn't. Today was my second review at AH and i am glad to say that all my doubts have been cleared. There is really some problem with my leg. To be more detailed, i have stress fractures at 2 sites on both my limbs. Sounds scary isn't it. My mum gave that "huh?!..." when she heard what i said. Of course i cleverly said it was nothing serious. (well it's really not THAT serious) I was advised not to run and jump until the fractures healed. I breathed a major sigh of relief when i heard it. It's like the nuclear bone scan understood me and revealed what everyone needed to know about my leg (i thought my specialist didn't believe me until he saw the nuclear scan). I was listening to Basement Jaxx's "Good Luck" song when i was on the way there. Think it helps. haha. Due to this sudden course of event, i suppose there'll be some changes (keeping my fingers crossed REALLY tightly) about my posting within the next few months. But even if there's no change, i don't really care. All i am concerned about now is my legs. Finally the biggest mystery of my own self solved. Whew!!! Jloe || 12:41 PM || 0 comments
Monday, June 4, 2007  Love is often a highly talked-about topic among most of my army friends. Maybe the absence of girls causes a hormonal imbalance for guys to be more desperate in seeking for love. Recently, my close friend in my section kept persuading me to give him a number of one of my female ex-classmate so that he can have a chance to make more female friends. He saw my class photo and persisted in bothering me until i gave the numbers of those he felt looked pretty by his own beauty standards. I eventually gave him one number since he made me feel so guilty about not helping him find a partner. Furthermore, i he made it sound as if it was JUST a friendly, casual, "motive-less" attempt to learn about more people. Well, it seemed alright with me until the moment he said he wanted to message the classmate of mine. Honestly, i am not close to ANY of my female classmate. Well, i could talk pretty comfortably with some but that's in school only. Outside school, we wanted nothing much to do with each other, maybe the very least the occasional "hi how are you doing" when we meet each other online or on the streets (i try to avoid them anyway ha. i'm shy that way). That's why i felt totally embarrassed to give the number of someone i am not close to. There's even this sense of betrayal of the remaining layer of trust (very thin by the way) my ex-classmates and i had. Oh ya, about the message he sent to my classmate, it sounded like that "hi i'm joel's friend and my aim is to get you to reply me. ... i hope i don't put you up from your seat. ha " (if i didn't remember clearly) It actually sounds really fine don't you think. As if we were playing some truth or dare game and my army mate is assigned this embarrassing dare task. After the message, we settled down for a tea break and went for a short window-shopping session in the boring toa payoh town. Sadly, or fortunately (you decide), my classmate didn't reply and that let my army friend pretty heavy-hearted when we parted. He was really hopeful for a nice chat with a beautiful stranger. Secretly, i was actually praying that my classmate would reply. Then probably a budding romance that blossoms from a chance meeting after getting to know each other through messages - similar to some romantic comedies like Must Love Dogs or Serendipity - may occur. Then i'll call it hmmm... "Message from a Stranger : I Love U" Ha! That's the outcome of watching too much romantic comedies, kinda makes me hopeful that true love can be found in unique ways. Ha... :) Hey why not?  If this gimmick to pick up girl (or should i say "make more female friends") worked for my friend, which means that if my friend really replies, you'll here from me first. Let's pray for a [Message from a Stranger : I Love U] Part two. Jloe || 6:47 PM || 0 comments
World on Fire is the third single off Sarah McLachlan's bittersweet and toned-down sounds of Afterglow. Reflective of the past current events of the past few years and suffering around the world, it describes the feelings that Sarah feels as though she may try and help out as much as she can, but she can only do so much. |
music.city.soulSONG OF THE DAY: fibes oh fibes - run to youTag If You VisitHEART LINKSArchives |
