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Pardon me for coming up with such a crappy title for today's a crappy day.Tuesday, August 14, 2007 Yesterday night after watching crappy "Honor and Passion", i decided to try to transfer the pictures in my crappy family digital camera into my crappy laptop. Well, i did so because 1) i've never done it before , 2) i finally decided to put some pictures of my own into my blog - to cut the monotony of it all (if there was any, which i believe not and if u tell me got monotony i'm gonna kill you) and 3) i'm beginning to feel that i have very few pictures of my own - camera-shy la hehe... So i tried to install the software and plug my camera in and nothing happened. NOTHING. At least nothing of what i wanted to see happened. The software was installed but my crappy laptop just didn't seem to read the camera as like a "hard disk/ usb"-kinda thing. Anyway, i don't know if what i'm doing /thinking is right or not. haha. Oh my... I'm SUCH a computer nutcase. And i'm totally going NUTS trying to figure this thing out!!! Why didn't i learn to use the computer seriously when i was younger? Oh how i hate myself. You know what? I can't even type fast/accurately enough - i only use two fingers to type. Reason? You're gonna laugh at me for this. I pon-ed (well, this is surprising to me even haha... mugger boy PON?!) touch-typing class in primary school because there's always this indian boy sitting behind me watching me type like a fool and SNIGGERS at me. Argh... Well, anyway, i tried and tried and tried til midnight and i still couldn't get it! Since my eight hours of sleep is of absolute importance, i decided to give up and possibly try today. Maybe that can stop me from throwing my crappy laptop and crappy camera out the window. haha. The thing is, i locked my room's door when i slept (for dunno what reason - feeling too crappy to think) and my mother couldn't wake me up in the morning early enough. I ended up waking up at 652 am when i had to leave home at 7am. Although my parents are fetching me still, i HATE the feeling of rushing to bathe. A bath should be slow, warm and relaxing, especially in the morning. (i know "dirty" people like Belinda don't bath in the morning but for me it's a MUST. I like, no... lurve, to feel CLEAN at the start of a brand new day.) So, i was totally in SIAN mode in the morning already. Unfortunately, it carried forward to the whole of my work day... For your information, after a slacky week at the registry being the mail-boy, i'm now attached to another office since they're short of manpower there. Being there for only the SECOND day, how much can i know exactly. How do i know what place to put what, who to send email to, who knows this project and what not... TO make things clear, almost all the officers at my branch office are nice, polite people (i think i was rather unknowingly rude though) and i've nothing against them. Well, there was this small teeny weeny incident when one of the officers asked me which printer to select on the computer to print his stuff. According to my mentor, it was "the one with a lot of numbers and the longest name one". So i told the officer the exact same thing - without missing out any word. He was like "HUH?". So i when i went there, " the one with a lot of numbers and the longest name one" wasn't there!!! I was totally puzzled then - that's why i hate change - cannot handle the panic attacks that come with it lor... He told me to check the printer for its code and i did as told BUT there was nothing on the printer that CLEARLY indicated its name on the computer. So i said i don't know and he was pretty pissed, giving me a deep breath of unsatisfaction. Well, after a few clicks here and there, he managed to figure it out and me being totally embarrassed of my own stupidity and uselessness, just walked away heavy-hearted. The thing is there's no one for me to consult even on such a simple matter. My mentor is not around most of the time so i'm just left to die on my own. I don't blame him for not being around because he's served his time in NS and is going to ORDed soon ( i would do that too if it was me). Besides, he was clocking enough distance to convert his military license into a civilian license - so i can't possibly blame him for technically WORKING (although for his own purpose). So i guess i can only blame myself for being a retarded dimwit, lost and probably not found that moment of time. It's such a helpless feeling. Being a some-sort perfectionist (in work and studies), i want to make myself feel and let people know that i am capable of handling work, tough work. Yet, i don't feel like i have enough help with me - i mean how to fly when i don't even know how to use my wings properly (i know small birdies also dunno and can still fly after a few tries BUT you know what i mean la...) But then again, i don't want to keep relying on my mentor since i want to be independent and i don't want to really die when he leaves. Argh... sorry i know i'm talking in circles that don't seem to make sense. Well, i certainly hope it's just my paranoid mind working its evil "think-too-much" magic on me. Alright, writing all this certainly help to calm me down. I guess i can go back to work tomorrow with a less heavy heart. Unfortunately, the doubts still persist and will continue to until i find myself being able to do something of significance well on my own. Ok... me signing off me today. Don't be so dumb tomorrow!!! P.S: Thanks to Yeo and Neo for consoling me. I know it didn't help much but at least you guys tried. So thanks no matter what. music.city.soul || 7:35 PM || 0 comments |
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