I can’t really remember what I did in 2010/2011 crossover but I probably had a good sleep. I ended up muddling my way through the first half of the year, before waking up to a brighter second half. This brings me to 2011/2012. I thought it was going to be great since I was on my return flight from Tokyo to Singapore and it would reach about 1am. So chances of me being up in the air at the stroke of midnight was pretty good, and the prospect of spending the next year “up in the air” (read: travelling) was an awesome one. But as fate may have it, the flight was early - WAY EARLY in fact – and the plane touched ground on Singapore at about 11:55pm.

So this was my 2012. I still got the chance to travel, with my family (Cambodia) and even by myself for some of the trips (Bangkok and S.Korea). But generally a sense of… “I’m there, but I still can’t quite figure out”, just like how I knew I was going to be in a plane, but didn’t expect myself to be stuck in it while the landed plane awaits a parking slot at the airport.

I knew things were going to change with some of my friends, but I didn’t know how I would handle these changes, or if I could have handled them better, and I still probably haven’t sorted things out completely even till now. I knew life in school was going to be pretty much the same, but then it wasn’t exactly “pretty” nor the same. I knew my family will go through some changes (eldest bro’s wedding, second bro’s blooming sports career), but even with these changes we remained kinda the same after all.

My favourite part of 2012 will probably be in S.Korea, meeting new friendly faces during my solo travels. These people do not know you, and treat you with utter nice-ness, and expect nothing in return, other than a good time together? I hope I can always be in that place, where I feel like being a better person to others, keeping an open mind and having a nice time enjoying myself doing simple stuff.

But I somehow can’t seem to do that in Singapore, or at least not when I’m not with just my good friends. Maybe the ghosts of the past really have haunted me for too long (and continue to do so), making me question every word and motive of others. You know within every “monster”, there is part of them that hated what they did, and hoped for something or just someone who appreciates them for the goodness in them. But then the reality is harsh, people disappoint and you are forced to defend yourself. I’m painting a vague picture here because I don’t like to reveal personal details here, but if you managed to catch any meaning of what I said, I wish I can be better.

I wish I can do better. So to 2013, a year of better choices, better company, better friends (and being a better friend myself), better experiences and a better me. Happy 2013 :)