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Surprisingly, this week has been rather liberating for me in many ways.Friday, July 11, 2008 In terms of work, i can only describe it as finally seeing a glimpse of sunlight. For the past two weeks of many overtime, i had tried my best to complete most of my work. At least now i can take a small breather before continuing with the rest - the minute little things that are so unimportant but essential nevertheless. In addition, I realised something when i was having lunch this week and i think i briefly mentioned to Prince, though i think he didn't absorb it the way i would like him to (pretty hard to get into him when he's full of devilish ideas to destroy who-must-not-be-named). Well, that is, i think i've let work and the tiredness from work get into me. To be fair, I don't want to blame it entirely on work, because i do my work and if i have to work overtime, it's KINDA partly my own fault as well. (ok, colleagues - maybe Ter-weeds/Prince - might think i'm crazy for saying this haha... They bitch FOR me everyday to no result haha) But fact is, i MADE myself tired. It was subconscious act to tell myself i'm tired cause being i related with the self-pity that was a form of console for myself. So much so i was really feeling tired every single second. I didn't have the mood to eat or even talk to my friends during lunch. I remember before i was bogged down by so much work, lunch was really my short escapade from work to talk about anything and everything, including bitching about work. At home, i didn't feel like doing anything but sleep. Aside from NDP where i got to meet Kenny G, i didn't have to mood/energy to meet up with any of my other friends. But well, after that enlightening day, i've decided it was time to move out from that zone and go back to being just the way i was. I used to be able to separate work from my own life so i should still be able to do so with greater understanding of what my work requires. Basically, I can be as tired as i want to be when i'm working, but if there's a call/message/friend, i will take myself out from the "work persona" and be revitalized! haha... With the realisation, i must make some small changes in my life and stick to them so my life becomes more self-satisfying. I mean... when i am satisfied, i am happy and when i'm happy i have energy and when i have energy, i can work! Erm.. ok that sounds super wrong. Sa lah... More like, i can do things i like and feel even happier! haha. When i've thought about them, i'll tell you... A bit too tired to think haha (tired soul get out!!!) Speaking on this, during the function held at camp, i was with this unit colleague who annoyed me much. At first we were getting along fine talking about random work and how good food in camp can actually be (just that the cookhouse doesn't put in as much effort). But when we were walking back, we saw his office ma'ams and everyone was praising him for his hard work for the event - like how he was the only one working on the project and how hard he work. Then he began bragging about himself saying "I HAD TO COME BACK FOR TWO SATURDAYS lor..." and then said, "Oh, my ma'am told me i SURE get off one, i JUST DON'T KNOW HOW MANY... TWO? THREE? I think i deserve a week!". Whatever. I am actually done listening to all these people who can't take a bit of extra work. I'm usually so busy with my work but i still manage to help other people when they need help on work matters. And if only he knew how MANY MUCH MORE TIMES i've stayed late on working days, he seriously should be ashamed of himself for being such an ignorant bastard. I don't deny the fact i complain and grumble about working overtime because it's normal reaction. I am tired after working for so long, and if i have to work extra hours, i'll of course not be happy (plus i'll be extra tired). I'm not in a good mood and therefore i have a right to grumble. But for all the additional hours i put in, i've never once thought that i DESERVED anything in return. As long as my efforts are recognised (silently nevertheless) and appreciated, i find the self-satisfaction even more rewarding that any OFF can give. To think that guy is actually one year older. The fact that he had to come back on saturdays probably meant that either he left on time everyday and therefore, didn't have time to finish and had to do so on saturday or he was slow in his work that he needs an additional day in order to complete the work. Fact is, i never see any other clerk stay later than me (other than JJ but he's somewhere else haha) to work. For all the work i complete myself and completed well, there's no better person to sing praises to me other than myself. I don't need to brag to show how hardworking i am cause i know i am. I am in a MUCH different league from that guy. Period. On to a lighter note, for Ms Chipmunk's farewell today, i had to get a gift for her. Because i left slightly late that night due to the function, i had to rush home to change and then go get the present i had in mind for her - Alvin and the Chipmunks VCD. But i honestly couldn't find it in almost all the shops in my central area! Almost everywhere were sold out! I simply cannot understand why people like those chipmunks seriously (no offence Ms Chipmunk). Then i had to run to the other stores since everywhere was closing shop and very fortunately, managed to find a store, not closed yet and had stocks of the VCD. Whew!!! I felt happy at last i managed to get something i had in mind for her.
To add on to the present, i've decided to give card to her. I thought of how to make it special. But since i can't design for goodness sake (something Kenny G has seriously held against me ever since) i've decided to blog on her. Blogging is something i do best now haha. I blogged (previous entry) and printed it and pasted on a very cute postcard.
the cute postcard representing the values i uphold!
Then i added a short note myself and signed off. Glad she liked it. And the jigsaw puzzle the office gave her collectively. After making the card (despite it being very simple), i felt so guilty for not putting as much effort into Kenny's birthday card just a few months back. It is, as i can remember very well, a A4 paper designed totally using highlighters (with fading ink =X) and my own mono-coloured writing pens. Should have blogged too right!? ***Sorry Kenny for the card, i still feel bad for it.. Guess we three (Sf and Grace including) didn't think you'll take it to heart so much since we did make an effort - it was HONESTLY what i could give given my circumstances that that time (printer no ink, shops all close, no coloured pencils or markers or glue at home). Truth be told, we are not the most creative people as well and you should know. We'll make it up to you ok!*** The card was also a first step. A baby step out of the "tired" excuse to do something for a friend that mattered. That in a way was also "liberating". There are also other small "liberating" moments - like letting "it" out on JJ (for good or bad haha) But the best liberating fact - no NDP for me this saturday! (=XXX Keep it secret... haha) music.city.soul || 10:12 PM || 0 comments |
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