|
|
Tuesday, December 30, 2008  The past few days at work has actually turned out to be pretty interesting. Instead of the usual looking-at-each-other-with-nothing-really-much-to-say (wow that’s long), we started to entertain ourselves. Or should I say, I started to entertain myself entertaining myself. We played Hangman, of which I realized maybe I might have a knack for choosing pretty easy-but-tough-to-guess words (or maybe they’re less game-inclined than me, which I dare say is super sad if you know how bad I am), and of course, act-ionary (guessing words & phrases based on the actions we do). My personification of “Cinderella” was, in my opinion, one of my best acting chops in my entire life, considering I don’t have the flair for drama and desire for attention (that’s why I seldom do anything attention-seeking haha – bitching is the furthest I go hehe).  Well, amongst all the fun and laughter we all were enjoying in these last few moments of 2008, I pretty much felt that was the general vibe of the year - a year of good (mostly) cheap laughter and feel-good stabilizers in life and work.  The year started off with two big bangs. One bang of absolute ecstasy (at the spur past midnight of 2008!!!) which was quickly slumbered by the second big bang of disappointment and personal insecurity. Without the need to go into details (cause it’s always the same old stuff), let’s just say friends are only friends who see who for who you are, what you are and even what they see themselves with you. I mention the last one because it’s always the one which make me realize how stupid and foolish I was to allow myself to fall into this pit. In a nutshell, what am I to them? Nothing. Therefore, nothing I do (no matter good or bad) will ever matter in their eyes and so there’s no point why I should be bothered to live them to their standards. What are they to me? You know my answer too. In the past few years, I have gone through phase after phase after phase and this year is no different. In 2006, I turned from study freak to anxious pre-soldier. In 2007, I changed from mediocre soldier to budding clerk. And in 2008, I changed from budding clerk to busy clerk to budding worker back in the real world.  Transition phases are always tough for me, and they always indicate a moment of paranoia, of uncertainty, of anxiety. Taking on a new job scope took on a different set of rules altogether. Different people, different working styles, different procedures and finally different directions. So many differences that with a temperamental boss, things can get even rougher at the start. But, what don’t break you, make you stronger (and I add, wiser). It took a lot (of late nights hehe) upon me to learnt and be independent to pick up everything by myself, adapt to the surroundings and procedures but I was glad I managed to achieve a sense of accomplishment knowing what I have contributed at the end of my journey.   All these coincided with a few surprising turns in my relationships with people too. Having begun budding friendships with both parties on similar frequency, all I had to do was to find it in me to see that in my other “older” friends I felt the same way with. I managed to reconnect with some friends and began what I feel is a change in our connection (to a better level) and surprisingly, a change in me. I must say with each and every chance I meet up with any of my friends filled my spirit positively. What will in the long run, it’s too early to tell and it’s not something I sure of. But what is certain is I’ll cherish each of the memories and appreciate what we all share now.    I also took on this final year of personal freedom (before university and whatever that lies further ahead) to live life more free-spiritedly, aiming to please myself more. It was important to me to try to make people around me happy (mutually) but I also needed to make myself happy. To do what I want and to enjoy what I do. There was travelling (taiwan and cheena), watching / purchasing my favourite rom-coms, catching up with my good friends, shopping for gifts and clothes, watching performances / movies and of course, listening to my beloved music. This might seem insignificant to most but for me, it was catching up with whatever I’ve not been doing to myself for a long long time, even before service. If 2008 is anything to go by, it was a good year. Didn’t start too well but still I managed to pull through and feel contented with the way I lived this year. 2009 will see another transition from budding worker to budding student (!) and this makes yes, another trying period. No expectations on how I’m hoping it to turn out. Just go with the flow and be myself. Short and sweet, simple as it is, cause that’s just me.  Cheers to 2008, on to 2009! music.city.soul || 11:36 PM || 0 comments |
music.city.soulTag If You VisitHEART LINKSArchives |